I Just Wanted Someone to Have Coffee With: Finding Your People

The story behind SLAM Society, and why finding your people has always meant more to me than I realised.

Toni at the Bali Soulshine Retreat

I recently sat down for a conversation with Nikki from The View From Here, and it took me right back to where so much of this began.

We spoke about SLAM, but also about the life that came before it — the experiences that shaped me, the different seasons I’ve moved through, and why connection has probably always meant more to me than I realised.

My story started long before SLAM.

I came to Australia after losing my dad, and from a young age I learned what it meant to start again, find your feet and create a sense of belonging somewhere new.

In my twenties, I also experienced life as a single mum. That chapter taught me a lot about independence, resilience and just how important it is to have good people around you.

Looking back now, I can see how much those experiences shaped me.

They made me value community. They made me understand how isolating certain seasons of life can feel. And they probably planted the seed for something I wouldn’t go on to create until many years later.

Mama and daughter at Cronulla Beach | photo by VixPix Photography

Before SLAM, I was looking for connection too

When I moved to the Sutherland Shire with a baby, I didn’t have an established circle around me.

And I remember wanting something incredibly simple.

People.

Someone to have a coffee with. Women to message. A reason to get out of the house. A sense that I belonged somewhere.

So I put up a post asking if any local mums wanted to meet for coffee.

There was no big business plan behind it.

I wasn’t thinking about memberships, retreats, Women in Business lunches or building a community across Sydney.

I just knew that if I was feeling disconnected, there had to be other women feeling exactly the same way.

There were.

And that one simple invitation became the beginning of SLAM Society.

What happened next still amazes me

What started as a need for connection grew into something far bigger than I could have imagined.

Over the years, SLAM has brought thousands of women together through social events, business lunches, wellness experiences, family gatherings and getaways.

But for me, the most meaningful part has never been the number of events or how much the community has grown.

It’s the individual moments.

Two women exchanging numbers at the end of an event.

Someone telling me they nearly didn’t come because they were nervous.

A woman walking into a room alone and realising within minutes that she wasn’t the only one.

Friendships forming. Businesses connecting. Women travelling together. People finding support during seasons when they really needed it.

That’s what SLAM has always been about.

Finding Your People as an Adult Can Be Hard

One thing I’ve learned through building this community is that loneliness doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.

At one of the SLAM events

You can have a partner, children, a career, a business, a full calendar and hundreds of contacts in your phone — and still feel like you’re missing your people.

Life changes.

We move suburbs. We become mums. Relationships change. Careers shift. Friendships evolve. Sometimes we simply realise that the people who fitted one version of our life don’t necessarily fit the next.

A

nd starting again socially as an adult can feel strangely intimidating.

That’s why I’ve always wanted SLAM to be somewhere you can walk into without already having a group.

You don’t need to know anyone.

You don’t need to be the most outgoing person in the room.

You just need to take that first step and show up.

The person behind the business

Building something like this doesn’t happen separately from the rest of your life — the hard seasons shape it just as much as the good ones.

There have been years I felt completely certain about where SLAM was going, and years I was figuring it out as I went.

Both versions of me built this community.

Both are still part of it.

It’s strange to think back to that first coffee catch-up and compare it with where we are now.

So much has changed.

But the heart of SLAM really hasn’t.

It’s still about connection.

It’s still about creating spaces where women can meet without all the awkwardness that sometimes comes with trying to make new friends as an adult.

And it’s still about something very simple:

Finding your people.

I shared much more of my story — the good parts, the hard parts, how SLAM came to life and what I’ve learned along the way — in my conversation on The View From Here.

If you’ve ever wondered about the person behind SLAM, where all of this really started, or why connection has always mattered so much to me, I’d love for you to have a listen.

Listen to the full episode of The View From Here

Toni

Founder,

SLAM Society