The Adult Friendship Problem Nobody Talks About

When I started SLAM, I wasn’t trying to build a community.

I was trying to find one.

I’d moved to a new area, didn’t know many people, and found myself craving something I couldn’t quite name — deeper friendships, real conversation, that feeling of truly belonging somewhere. Not social media connection. The real kind.

What I didn’t expect was how many other women were quietly searching for exactly the same thing.

Over the years, I’ve watched thousands of women walk into SLAM events nervous, unsure, sometimes uncomfortable — and leave exchanging numbers, making plans, supporting each other’s businesses, and building genuine friendships.

The shift in a room over the course of one evening is something I never get tired of watching.

Because here’s what I’ve come to understand: the loneliness a lot of women carry isn’t always obvious from the outside.

It’s the mum who gave everything to her family and quietly lost herself along the way.

The woman rebuilding after divorce or a major life change.

The one working from home who hasn’t had a real conversation in days.

The person who moved cities and is starting over.

The woman surrounded by people who still, somehow, feels completely alone.

These women don’t look isolated.

They’re just… missing something.

And honestly, I think a lot of us are.

SLAM exists for that something.

There’s no pressure here. No performance. No carefully curated version of your life required. Just women showing up as they are — which, it turns out, is exactly what most of us have been craving all along.

Maybe that’s why this has grown the way it has.

Because underneath the events, the dinners, the retreats, the cocktails, and the girls nights… what people are really searching for is the same thing:

Connection.

Belonging.

People who genuinely get them.

And I think we need that now more than ever 💛