Making New Friends as an Adult: A No-BS Guide

Let's be honest – making friends as an adult feels like dating, but somehow more awkward. Remember when friendship just happened? You sat next to someone in class, bonded over shared snacks, and suddenly you were inseparable. Now? You're wondering if that woman from school pickup thinks you're weird for suggesting coffee.

If you're reading this thinking "finally, someone gets it," you're not alone. Maybe you're feeling a little lonely, or just in a social funk. You've got school drop-off down to a fine art and your calendar is full of obligations—but somehow, it still feels like something's missing. That elusive sense of real, easy connection.

Making genuine connections as an adult is one of those things no one warns you about until you're deep in the thick of it, wondering where all your people went. The truth? It's hard, but it's not impossible. Whether you're new to the area, craving deeper connections, or just keen to expand your circle, here's the real story about adult friendships—and how to find your people (without the awkward small talk).

Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult?

Because life. Unlike school days where you had built-in hangout time, now you're juggling work deadlines, school pickup, grocery runs, and trying to keep everyone fed and happy.

Plus, there’s a weird vulnerability in wanting friends. You start to second-guess yourself—“Am I too much?” “Will I seem desperate?” “Does that woman from school pickup think I'm weird for suggesting coffee?”

Here’s the good news: everyone else is wondering the same thing. Seriously.

Where to Start: Try This Instead

Forget the idea of instant BFFs. Think small, consistent actions:

• Start where you are. Say yes to an invite, smile at the mum next to you at netball, or chat with the person next to you at a SLAM event.

• Lead with curiosity. Ask questions. People love talking about themselves—and it takes the pressure off you to be “interesting.”

• Be brave. Text the person you clicked with at yoga. Invite someone for a walk or coffee. Connection grows with repetition, not magic.

What to Look For in New Friendships

✔️ Green flags:

• You feel relaxed, seen, and not judged.

• You can be honest about both your wins and your mess.

• They check in. They show up. They get it.

🚩 Red flags:

• It’s always one-sided.

• You feel drained, not uplifted.

• They dismiss your challenges or compete with your success.

How SLAM Society Makes It Easier

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

At SLAM Society, we’ve created events and spaces that take the awkwardness out of meeting people. Women come alone all the time - and leave with phone numbers, shared laughs, and new plans in the diary.

Whether it’s a dinner, retreat, or casual beach catch-up, SLAM makes it feel safe (and even fun!) to put yourself out there again.

Check out our upcoming events here - because the easiest way to make friends is when everyone's there for the same reason.

Final Thoughts

Making friends as an adult doesn’t have to feel so hard. It just takes a little intention, the right environment, and permission to be your unfiltered self. Because you’re not the only one craving connection.

You just have to be the first to say hello.